If the bride has a maid of honor who will serve as her right-hand woman throughout the wedding prep and the wedding day, the groom also has his backup and he is the best man.
When picking the best man, you have to make sure he has what it takes to lead the first toast and not make an incident out of it. He should also be somebody responsible because he will be standing as your right hand man throughout the ceremony.
He will also keep the ring before you slip it onto the finger of your new wife. He will also be someone you can ask to do other wedding-related activities. He should be fun because he will be the person organizing your bachelor party.
It is also ideal that the man who will get the title of ‘Best Man’ should be a very important friend to you or your fiancée. He has to be with you every step of the way and not panic on the day of the ceremony itself.
The best man has quite a lot of responsibilities and they are the following:
- Stand as the groom’s backup and help throughout the wedding preparations and the main event. They can even help get the newlyweds ready for going on their honeymoon.
- Advise the groom when it comes to his outfit for the wedding and even coordinate the clothes of the groomsmen. If the bride and her bridesmaids would match in terms of color and theme, the groom and his entourage need to match as well. He also has to make sure that the groomsmen who have traveled a long way have a place to stay for the wedding.
- Give the groom the best bachelor party ever. Enlist the groom’s friends and the other groomsmen to attend and help out. He can ask the entourage to share the cost of the party with them and the responsibilities in sorting it out.
- Take part in rehearsals so they know exactly what to do on the day itself.
- Stand with the groom on the wedding day and ensure that nothing happens to the wedding rings until the vows have been given. They need to have a hiding place ready for the ring and make sure it is not left in the hotel or dropped somewhere by accident.
- Make sure the other members of the entourage are behaving themselves and doing their duties properly.
- Be a witness as the newlyweds sign their marriage license alongside the maid of honor.
- Hand the sealed envelope for the officiant’s fee after the main ceremony.
- Dance with the bride’s entourage during the reception.
- Be the one to lead the first toast for the bride and groom and do the speech.
- Collect the gifts for the couple and if the couple asks for assistance, he will also be the one to deposit the monetary gifts or keep it for the couple until they return from their honeymoon getaway.
- He can also assist in decorating the newlywed’s car, and organize getting others to help with this.
Since the best man is the one to lead the toast, it is important that they give a speech that will make the toast unique and special. If you are just starting to draft for your best man’s speech, here are some tips you need to consider first:
- Consider what you are writing and what it is for – It is important to remember that this speech is for a special day for your friends. It has to be a speech that reflects your emotions and the thoughts for the couple. Make sure you don’t include the x-rated aspects of your escapades with the groom because it may make the groom and bride uncomfortable. It must also not contain words that are too vulgar and filled with sarcasm.
- Short is always good, but just saying ‘Cheers’ or short one-liners or jokes is not enough to begin a toast. Of course, a long and rambling speech is also not good. It just has to be right, a speech of about two to five minutes.
- Do your draft early: To reduce the nervousness when it comes to making speeches, its best to start early before you become too busy. Since you are the best man, try to write your speech two to three months before the wedding preparations. Once the wedding preparations start there will be a lot of activities in line for you to work with and that may stop you from writing that draft.
- Write your speech on paper or put it on your mobile phone – While you can try to memorize your speech, it’s possible you may forget it once you are on stage. When you have a copy of your speech with you, you can remain confident and do your speech with ease.
- Make your speech exciting – If you want to make your speech exciting and filled with tons of twists even if it’s short, add a variety of tones and paces in them. Using a variety of elements in your speech will capture your audiences easily.
- Slow but steady – When you feel that your nerves are influencing your speech, stop and breathe for a moment. It is ideal if you also stayed sober for this speech because you may end up stuttering if you are drunk when you do your speech.
With these tips in mind, let’s now discuss what should be in your best man speech and the ideal structure it should have.
- Make your introduction: When you start your speech, it is best to introduce yourself to the guests. How do you know the groom and his wife and how long have you been friends?
- Thank everyone involved in the preparations: While the groom and the bride will thank everyone who helped them for the celebrations, it’s good to thank the people involved in the efforts in your own way. Just make sure you are subtle with it.
- Light-hearted jokes are ok: Share some funny stories about the groom which will tell the visitors the type of person the groom is. If the groom is your brother, tell stories about your childhood. Just make sure you do not overdo the jokes and match it with heartfelt things you remember and wish to share about the groom.
- Talk about the groom and the bride: Sharing a story about the bride and groom will help the audience become closer to the newlyweds. Speak about how the two first met, how they fell in love and what you witnessed on the wedding ceremony. If you do not know the bride very well, speak about your first impressions about her or what you know about her thanks to the groom. Also, expand on what the groom and bride are like, their values and things you remember that made your friendship special. Don’t forget to say how beautiful the bride is and say how much positive changes she brought to your friend.
- Do not include the ex and embarrassing stories. The big no nos when it comes to the best man speech is including the times you got into trouble and the groom’s ex-girlfriends or flings. This is not a funny thing to add in your speech. Also, don’t say something about times when the couple broke up because you might find yourself facing a very angry wife.
- End it with a quote and a toast: Ending your speech in a quote is ok since it will give the couple an inspiration they can live by. Once you are done, wish them well and raise your glass to call for a toast!
Here are some examples of best man speeches you can base your speech on:
From The Knot (for short speeches):
As the poet Dante once said, “A great flame follows a little spark.” When Matt (groom) met Sarah (bride), there was a little spark. I know because I talked to him the next day.
From the way he talked about her, this girl he chatted up at a party, I could tell this spark was something special.
You two are great together. May the flame burn long—and may sparks continue to fly.
To the bride and groom. Cheers.
From Phenomenal Weddings (long speech):
“Good evening everyone, I can remember when Eric asked me to be his best man. At first, I was so excited because I was going to get to plan the bachelor party of a lifetime. Nah, just kidding I was happy, because he had found the love of his life and he was going to marry her, but then it dawned on me, I was going to have to write this speech. I got so nervous that I told Eric that I didn’t think I was up for the job, but he reassured me that it would be all right. He said, “Just get up there and be yourself.” Well, that is how I came to be in front of all of you today.
First of all I would like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Donaldson for putting together this lovely wedding and what a lovely wedding it is? Am I right? I would also like to thank anyone that pitched in or participated in making this event possible. I also want to thank everyone in this room for showing up and giving these two your love and support. Last, but not least I want to thank Eric for giving me this honor. Eric, I can’t tell you what it means to me that you picked me to be here. Thank you.
Many of you may not know this, but before Eric met Sally, he wasn’t the best at talking to women. In fact, he was probably as bad at talking to women as I am going to be at giving this speech. Sally changed his life and she changed it for the better. Ever since he met her I’ve noticed a big change in him. He is more buckled down, more responsible, and he now wants more out of life. For that I would like to offer a special thanks to Sally who I have gotten to know about the past few years and she is just great.
True love is something that is hard to find, and when you find it you have to hold onto it and that is why we are all here today. I wish you all the best for now and forever. Cheers.”
From Forever Wed (best man speech for brother):
Hello! I’m standing up here tonight, pretty boastful I have to admit, of my brother, Jackson, and his bride Macy. I have come to sing their praises, and if I happen to embarrass either one of them in the process, I apologize right now!
On behalf of our family, we want to welcome each of you to the wedding today. It is a true testament to Jackson and Macy that you have taken time from your busy schedule to come and witness their marriage. I have never seen a more beautiful bride than Macy, and my brother looks just plain button busting proud, doesn’t he?
Jackson and Macy do not come lightly into this marriage. They have each led successful lives up to this point, and each is a wonderful individual alone. However, as wonderful and unique each of them is, together they make the perfect couple! Jackson, a man of patience, has become even more patient since seeing Macy. He also has a warmer heart, a wonderful glow of love about him, and family has taken on a new meaning for him. We have always been brothers, but we are now friends. He has a stronger tie to the family now, and it’s a wonderful transformation to watch him take on the role of husband and start a new household. I know that if he models our parents, Chris and Jennie, then he will be a wonderful mate for this woman he loves so much.
Macy is a terrific woman. She lights up with love when she sees my brother and her traits read like a list of “who’s who?” She is compassionate, filled with laughter, grounded and happy. She is honest, trustful, faithful, sweet, kind, warm hearted and intelligent. So, Macy, when you have the first child, remember, the spelling of his name should be N-A-T-H-A-N! No, I’m just kidding. I’m saying all these wonderful things about you because you are truly a wonderful person and we welcome you into our family with open arms!
I always admired the tenacity that these two had while they were dating! While he was in medical school, Jackson would travel by train two hours to New York City to meet and date Macy! Macy also, for over a year, would travel a long distance just to be with Jackson. I wonder how they’ll fill their free time since they won’t be traveling any more? Oh, yeah, they’re newlyweds. They’ll find “something” to do!
I feel blessed to be Jackson’s younger brother. He has been a friend, mentor and role model for me. I am so happy that he has found this woman filled with perfection to spend the rest of his life with. Together, they should see many years of success, both personally and professionally, and they should enjoy immense happiness, just by being together!
I don’t have much advice for the newlyweds, because I really have no experience to speak from. But, if I had any advise, it might just be to Jackson. That would be to keep the seat down, never fight before you go to bed, and to always say “yes dear”, except if Macy happens to ask “does this make me look fat?”.
Everyone, I’d like you to raise your glass and toast my brother Jackson and his new bride, Macy.
May the future hold your happiness,
May the future hold your health.
May your heart hold your love,
And may your arms hold your babies, yet to come.
Here’s to your future happiness together!
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